karra: (you are paul rudd)
[personal profile] karra
I hate being unhappy. I wish I knew what would make me happy. I wish I didn't feel like people hated me now, or avoided or anything like that. Even if I know that it's not true. Or at least am pretty sure.

Maybe I need someone to tell me specifically 'I am not avoiding you' 'I don't hate you' or 'stop being so stupid'. I don't know. I feel stupid asking people if they do/are/whatever, but I feel stupid anyway. Plus, what if they say "yes, I'm avoiding you" or "no, you're not my friend anymore"? What then?

I have anxiety, and I have no reason for it. (Or maybe I do?) I'm not late on any bills, not on any homework. Was I like this last year? Is it just winter? Maybe. I don't know. I don't even have anything to distract myself with.

This is stupid. I'm just being stupid. Or something. I don't know.

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karra

June 2013

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