I have a list somewhere of bad things about myself, or rather bad thoughts I have when something upsets me. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Things like how much a loser I feel like at the moment, or how I shouldn't be surprised when people stop talking to me, or whatever. I don't know. It's probably not particularly helpful.
I try to make a list of good things about myself too, it's not very long though. I can't really think of anything. I don't know if that means there's not really anything good about me lately, or that winter sucks and I can't think of anything.
I really hope my brain will stop this shit when I'm able to get that daylamp thing.
I'm annoyed with myself because I don't think I'm being a very good friend to Jeri or agirl_gonemad
, but i don't really know what to do about it. I try not talking about my problems, and I don't think that helps. I don't think anyone really wants to talk to me anyway, and then I think about that and it feels stupid. But then later it doesn't. I don't *want* to feel like a bad friend to someone who is my best friend.
A lot of times I feel like I'm people's afterthoughts, and then later that feels stupid too.
I'm working on apping a game, I don't know if that will help or hinder. I hope the former.